I can count to Potato.

21 Sep
The three most intelligent men in football.

The three most intelligent men in football.

Come on The Age, is there really that much analysis to be done on watching orangutans sit around for three hours while a presenter slowly adds small numbers? I’m just not sophisticated enough to understand these things.  Do they really need to do the entire thing live on television?  I can’t think of any other award show in the entire world that consists of going through all the votes in front of everyone to make sure there wasn’t any cheating. It’s like televising the Surrey Hills Primary Grade 5 Class President vote tally and award ceremony- which, if it existed, would probably play out with a great deal more sophistication and composure. Also, I’m well aware that every year when they do the Brownlow runway show and somebody always says half the players look like Apes that have been strategically shaved and pushed into a suit (I’m on a primate theme today) but I do feel sympathy for all those tailors who have to spin gold around a brick shithouse. The seamstresses of the world do some amazing things (hi girls) but no matter how much draping you do a rectangle is still a rectangle.

Five posts a week was much easier to accomplish than I thought it would be, so in keeping to that format I’m going to try alternating between current events and fiction. I will make every effort to point out which is which.


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