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14 Sep

Hello.

Are you comfy?

Of course you are, this is the internet.  If you aren’t now ensconced in a pillow fort, smoking in bed while Houses of The Holy plays softly in the background or  impatiently tabbing through bookmarks while you wait for your guild to show up then you’re doing it wrong. You may also be standing under flourescent lights in some retail purgatory that smells of desperation and piss thumbing through Facebook links on your piece of shit phone that takes forever to load and still has sand in the corners from that one night you ran down the beach trying to kill a seagull with your bare hands like a real man.  I take my earlier statement back, they’re all legitimate options.

I chose Medium Fries for the exact reason described in the sub-heading: they are, in my own limited experience, the most consistently average item available anywhere in the world.  Most of the time you will have enough money to buy a medium fries, a medium fries will generally be available in any town you visit and a medium fries will taste pretty ok. Think about how many times you’ve had a medium fries. How many of them were revelatory, exciting or even novel? Expect that same number of moments while reading this blog. I can only really promise pessimism and cruelty. Any more would be misleading.

Before you go, consider the following information. How you feel about it will probably decide whether you come back.

It is entirely possible that the universe is far smaller than is commonly accepted. Although matter cannot travel faster than the speed of light, under general relativity light can travel in a curve, meaning that the furthest galaxies may simply be images of much closer ones from billions of years ago.

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